On the past two, 4 hour visits, our child has come home repeating racist comments from her new husband.
Racism: prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.
Sexism: prejudice, discrimination or stereotyping based on the basis on ones gender.
Of what race is the new husband?
Do you like him?
Would your level of annoyance vary depending upon his race or upon how well you liked him as a person?
Would you be less annoyed if the grandmother made that same comment?
I overheard a 30 something woman of color loudly advising her sister not to date anyone but white men. "Latin and Black men think they own you and will cheat on you".That was her opinion apparently based on her life's experience and she was free to say it loudly in a public place without fear of backlash from some virtue signaler who overheard her.
It seems like today, women can make whatever across the board statement about men, however unfair, without being considered a sexist. Similarly, people of color can make unfair comments or jokes about other races without fear of being considered a racist.
I would say that since your wife is in charge of your daughters upbringing while she is in her custody, you can only ask that she do what she can to stem the racist remarks while she is with her and then set a good example for your daughter yourself, the rest of the time.